i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
