Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
smell my finger.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
