Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
