there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
