Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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