So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
