Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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