id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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