Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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