dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
