Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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