he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
