her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
