I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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