How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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