i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize