yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
