i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I am naked and annoyed.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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