Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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