Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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