you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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