just tell him i said nine months
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
