it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
