If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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