Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
