Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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