You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
