I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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