just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You made out with two different species that night
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
