You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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