i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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