did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
