Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
