omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
