so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
