If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
