Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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