I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize