So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think we might need a safe word for this...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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