she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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