Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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