he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
