Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she pinky promised me she was 18
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
