i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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