I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
