Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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