That's when you crack a 10am beer
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
