I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
