none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
