No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
