If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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