Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
