True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
