Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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