the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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