I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
