i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
