So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
