Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
