Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
