Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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