I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i barfeds in our rink
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
