he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
