# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
