so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
