she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
