i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
